The Gawktail. A mix of cranberry soda and crushed-up mint, or "activated," as one might say. A signature drink that represented something fresh, unique, and spunky in liquid form. The signature drink of choice of today's focus, Ashley Amber.

Ashley Amber is a quickly up-and-coming San Diego comedian who has been making waves since her arrival six months ago. For being in the scene that long, she's already proven herself to be a talented and strong performer with her ability to connect with the crowd with lovable energy and dark punchlines. Ashley has had opportunities so far to perform at shows all over San Diego and even LA despite being in the comedy scene for such a short time. Doing sets with successful comedians such as Madison Sinclair and even opening at American Comedy Co. for Natalie Friedman. She's also the only trans-woman in the comedy scene, which she often embraces to give her a unique factor as a comic.

I met up with Ashley at the heart of San Diego's comedy scene, Madhouse Comedy Club. Despite there being plenty of other clubs around town, some nicer and some worse, Madhouse is open every night of the week with open arms for comics to hang out at and work on material at their nightly open mic. It was a Friday night, so the crowd was solid in the Brick Room, where the open mic is, and we were both waiting to go up to do our sets. We sat in the club's green room to get some quiet during the interview. I started off with a daunting question.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

"Weird."

WHAT DO YOU DO? LIKE, WHAT'S YOUR ROUTINE UP UNTIL STAND-UP?

"I just like, I just woke up. I just wake up and smoke hookah all day and drink energy drinks, honestly. That's most of my day."

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD. DO YOU WATCH ANYTHING?

"I've been watching Breaking Bad. Again."

WHY AGAIN?

"The stress of the show keeps me away from my recent thoughts, you know."

I LIKE THAT. HOW'S YOUR GAWKTAIL?

"Perfect amount of gawk."

DOES THE MINT DO SOMETHING?

"It makes it taste minty. Do you wanna try it?"

I'M GOOD RIGHT NOW. I'M WEIRD ABOUT SHARING DRINKS, BUT NOT IN A MEAN WAY! I'M NOT A GERMY PERSON- I FEEL BAD ABOUT IT.

"Do you feel like you end up calling me someone gross?"

YEAH!

"You're f**king gross."

I'M GROSS.

"Now we're even, and it's fine. Yeah. [Laughs]"

At this moment, I realized...I am gross.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING STAND-UP?

"6 months."

DID YOU START HERE? (MADHOUSE)

"Madhouse was my first mic, yeah."

HOW DID THAT GO?

"I don't remember— I was just really freaked out, honestly. It was fun! I remember it being fun—and scary."

THAT'S GOOD! WERE YOU LIKE, "AH, I GOTTA DO THAT AGAIN!" OR DID YOU HAVE THOUGHTS OF, LIKE, "NEVERMIND..."

"Oh no, I super wanted to do it again! Yeah."

YOU'RE ORIGINALLY FROM ARIZONA, FROM WHAT I REMEMBER?

"I was born in LA, moved to Nebraska when I was a baby, and then I grew up in Phoenix starting at like (age) 8. Phoenix is a very forgettable city. I think if we needed to wipe one city off the face of the earth in the whole U.S., I think Phoenix should probably go. There's stuff to do, and there's a decent art scene because the land is cheap, but it's just too hot; it's unreasonable. You know how you're not supposed to leave a dog in a car in the summer? That's why I feel like we're not supposed to let humans live in Phoenix."

WHEN DID YOU MOVE HERE (SAN DIEGO)?

"5 years ago?"

FOR WORK, WHAT DID YOU GO INTO? BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DO CIRCUS WORK SOMETIMES-

"Yeah, I've always done that; I would say that's been like 30% of my income since I've started doing that. I've always done that as like a side hustle."

Besides stand-up, Ashley has a work history in circus acts and fire performances.

WHAT KEPT YOU DRIVEN ON THAT?

"Mostly money recently, but before stand-up, it was for self-expression for sure. The kind of music—I would do it to like metal or punk music, or really aggressive hip-hop music. I don't dance, I don't like to dance at all, but to me, spitting fire is a separate thing, where people pay attention to that and not me. So, it kind of makes me feel free."

WITH STAND-UP, SINCE THAT'S MORE FOCUSED ON YOU THE WHOLE TIME, DO YOU FEEL LIKE THAT'S GROWTH IN YOU AS A PERFORMER? IS IT SOMETHING YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH DOING NOW?

"Yeah! [And] I would agree that it's growth because before, I wouldn't feel comfortable talking at all. Like I would do certain circus acts where a lot of people talk during them, like I would put a rat trap on my tongue or walk on broken glass and stuff. [And] While doing that, I wouldn't like to talk while I was doing it. [But] Even though it's more intimate while doing stand-up because I'm actually talking about myself and my thoughts, for some reason, it's more expressive? Like I can actually bring my own thoughts to the table more— verses like, having to present something that I feel is fake, I guess. It almost feels like a magic trick when I'm presenting something that's external, you know?"

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL?

"Koala. Ever since I was a kid, because I used to sleep so much— which, looking back, I was just very depressed, but it was like a joke among all my friends of them being like, 'Oh, Ashley sleeps like 18 hours a day you're like a koala bear!' so that was like a thing. [And] I hug my pillows like a Koala."

DO YOU THINK COMEDY IS AN IMPORTANT ART FORM?

"Yes. I think it's important to bring levity to all sorts of subjects—it's important to not take everything seriously."

DO YOU LIKE TO HIGHLIGHT THAT WITH CERTAIN TOPICS?

"Definitely, yeah. An enormous amount of my material is like gender identity stuff, interactions I have with other people in relation to that, and its—there's so much tension around it in the last five years where I think to be able to make a big joke out of it, is nice. It makes me feel more relaxed about it. I think it makes people that interact with me more relaxed about it."

I THINK THAT'S SOMETHING I'VE ALWAYS LOVED ABOUT YOUR COMEDY. NO MATTER YOUR CROWD OR EVEN CERTAIN OTHER COMICS, I FEEL YOU GIVE THEM A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF TRANS PEOPLE AS A WHOLE. WHETHER PEOPLE ARE CONSERVATIVE OR DON'T REALLY KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IT, I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ABLE TO CHANGE A LOT OF THEIR MINDS.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE BEING THE ONLY TRANS PERSON IN THE COMEDY SCENE HAS AFFECTED YOUR EXPERIENCE? I KNOW THAT'S A GIVEN BUT...

"No, for sure! It just gives me a unique thing to talk about– I mean, everyone talks about what's unique about their experience, and for some people, that's stuff they have in common with other people. But like you said, it sets me apart more because there's less of us doing it."

FAVORITE COLOR?

"Pink."

WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO GET INTO STAND-UP? WERE YOU A FAN OF STAND-UP BEFORE STARTING?

"Yeah! I would say I was a casual stand-up fan my whole life, but as of one to two years ago, I would say I started binge-watching stand-up. There was a pivotal moment about a year ago where, like— I knew more stand-up comedians than I did pornstars, and I was like, 'wow!' I really care about this.' I realized it was like an escape for me. After just being hooked on it for a while, I would think of stuff every now and then that was funny to try, but I was never really super motivated to try it. Then I had this really shitty experience with dating, and I was like, 'You know what! I'll go try it' because I wanted that escape, but more.“

DO YOU FEEL LIKE PEOPLE HAVE TO HIT A CERTAIN LOW TO GET INTO COMEDY? DO YOU THINK IT'S BETTER IF THEY DO?

"I definitely think it's better. I don't think you have to, but I know I had to for sure. If my life was good, I would definitely not be here."

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'VE HAD ANY EXPERIENCES OR SKILLS THAT HELPED YOU BECOME A GOOD COMIC?

"I think something that's helped me a lot with being able to do stand up was like—doing prostitution because that gets awkward sometimes [Laughs]. Like, being able to carry on a conversation with someone I'm pretending to be attracted to—is hard. Especially when they're super nervous and weird—so finding a way to break the tension in that setting, I feel like it definitely emotionally prepared me for how f**king weird stand-up gets sometimes."

FAVORITE COMICS?

"Shane Gillis, Brandon Ordel, Stavros Halkias and Jessa Reed. Jessa Reed has–you know Ari Shaffir's 'This is Not Happening' series? She has my favorite one of those called Meth Piss. And it's exactly what you think it is; it's about her meth addiction and drinking pee, and I can't really do it justice to sum it up, but it's so grotesque and outrageous, and hilarious and dark? Like the attitude she brings to it is the kind of attitude that you develop when you've been through so much sh*t that it's just funny at that point, you know? That's one I'll play with people I become friends with, just to see if we'll get along."

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU DO SOMETHING SIMILAR IN YOUR STUFF?

"Yeah, definitely."

DO YOU FIND COMFORT IN THAT?

"Yeah! I like being able to laugh about it, not because it makes me feel relieved of discomfort but because it makes me feel less isolated in the experience. Like, if I go on to get a normal job, I can't share all the stuff I used to do with people I work with. It's gonna take a lot of work to get to that point, verses with stand-up, it's like, 'Oh yeah! The first time you saw me was me telling this really f*cked up joke about this really f*cked up thing.' So, for me, I really like that. You're just up to speed immediately."

WHAT DO YOU FOCUS ON WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO FIND A CHANGE OF PACE IN YOUR WRITING/MATERIAL?

"When I get inspired to write about stuff I try to do it spontaneously? It's usually a way I personally relate to something. Like, I'll see something on a show, or a news article, or a reel, and I'll think about the way I relate to it or just my thoughts on the subject. But yeah, it just comes randomly a lot of the time."

At that moment, Ashley pulled out a small notebook from her pocket. She showed me how she uses it to jot down ideas and refer to them on stage so she can use her phone to record her set. They weren't always entirely written out, so they read as one-word concepts such as "trans-throat" or just "Logic". I asked her about that second one and what it meant. The joke goes as such:

"I'm trans in the same way the rapper Logic is black, I have to tell you."